Sometimes I feel I am hanging on by a thread, but still I hang on. It is time to climb a mountain. I read a story a while ago about someone who overcame adversity. She was unwell, doctors had given up basically, but not only did she get healthy again, she swam the English Channel. There was a line in the article that stuck in my head for months; What happened next blew everyone away.
Every so often, if I hear a special song, or see billowy clouds floating across the sky- all the fear goes away. And I feel free. Not just better, but completely and utterly free. It doesn't always last but it is enough to let me know these awful feelings I sometimes get are just a trick of the mind. Mind games.
A friend of mine died age 24 of Juvenile Diabetes. I know what she would want me to do. She would want me to fight. To grow. To get happy. So, I must make my mind stronger.
Pettiness makes me feel heavy. Reading about weighty stuff makes me absolutely light headed.
Mathematics is one thing that I love to read and learn about. My weakest subject at school; I think of it like boot-camp for my mind. There is a book I have been working at for a while called, "Why Beauty is Truth, A History of Symmetry," by Ian Stewart. It makes my brain hurt but I love it. Every time I read it I forget about everything else because it is really hard for me to understand and comprehend, but eventually I get it. Then I feel like a took a big happy pill. I feel connected. Which makes me free.
So my antidote to small minded? Open your mind. Expand. Learn. Let the games begin.